Japanese grammar · Intermediate (B1)
Giving and receiving: あげる, くれる, もらう
Who gives to whom with あげる, くれる and もらう, the polite さしあげる, くださる and いただく, and doing favours with ～てあげる, ～てくれる and ～てもらう.
Three verbs for “give” and “receive”
Japanese has two verbs for “give”, and the choice depends on the direction. (ageru) is giving away from me, or between other people. (kureru) is someone giving to me or to someone on my side (my family, my team). (morau) is receiving; the giver takes (ni) or (kara).
So “my friend gave me a book” can be said two ways: (tomodachi ga hon o kureta) or (tomodachi ni hon o moratta). You never use for things given to you, and never for things you give.
| Japanese | English |
|---|---|
| (Watashi wa ane ni hana o agemashita.) | I gave my sister flowers. |
| (Tanaka-san wa Suzuki-san ni hon o agemashita.) | Ms Tanaka gave Mr Suzuki a book. |
| (Tanaka-san ga watashi ni hon o kuremashita.) | Ms Tanaka gave me a book. |
| (Tanaka-san ga musume ni okashi o kuremashita.) | Ms Tanaka gave my daughter some sweets. |
| (Watashi wa Tanaka-san ni hon o moraimashita.) | I got a book from Ms Tanaka. |
Polite forms
When the other person is above you (a teacher, a boss, a customer), each verb has a polite form. (kudasaru) and (itadaku) are used all the time: (buchō ga omiyage o kudasaimashita), the department head gave us a souvenir.
(sashiageru) is correct but can sound as if you're pointing out your own kindness, so people often avoid it face to face and say (dōzo) or (yoroshikereba), if you'd like. (yaru) is used for giving food or water to animals and plants.
| Meaning | Neutral | Polite |
|---|---|---|
| give (away from me) | (ageru) | (sashiageru) |
| give (to me) | (kureru) | (kudasaru) |
| receive | (morau) | (itadaku) |
| give to animals and plants | (yaru) | — |
- 先生に辞書をいただきました。Sensei ni jisho o itadakimashita.I received a dictionary from my teacher.
- 毎朝、花に水をやります。Maiasa, hana ni mizu o yarimasu.I water the flowers every morning.
Favours: ～てあげる, ～てくれる, ～てもらう
The same verbs after the te-form describe doing something for someone. ～てくれる is especially important: when someone does something for you, Japanese nearly always says so. (tomodachi ga tetsudatte kureta), my friend helped me, sounds grateful; plain sounds cold.
～てもらう means “have someone do something for you”: (ani ni kuruma de okutte moratta), my brother gave me a lift. ～てあげる can sound condescending, as if you're doing someone a big favour, so avoid it to superiors and to the person you are helping. Offer help with ～ましょうか (-mashō ka) instead: (mochimashō ka), shall I carry that?
- 母が駅まで迎えに来てくれました。Haha ga eki made mukae ni kite kuremashita.My mother came to pick me up at the station.
- 店の人に修理してもらいました。Mise no hito ni shūri shite moraimashita.I had it repaired by the shop.
- 友達の引っ越しを手伝ってあげた。Tomodachi no hikkoshi o tetsudatte ageta.I helped my friend move house.
- 先生が推薦状を書いてくださいました。Sensei ga suisenjō o kaite kudasaimashita.My teacher kindly wrote me a letter of recommendation.
Asking for a favour
Requests are built from the same verbs, usually as questions with the potential or the negative. The more indirect, the more polite: ～てくれる？ (-te kureru?) among friends, ～てもらえますか (-te moraemasu ka) with colleagues, ～ていただけますか (-te itadakemasu ka) or ～てくださいませんか (-te kudasaimasen ka) with customers and superiors.
- ちょっと窓を開けてくれる？Chotto mado o akete kureru?Could you open the window?
- 領収書を書いてもらえますか。Ryōshūsho o kaite moraemasu ka.Could you write me a receipt?
- もう一度説明していただけますか。Mō ichido setsumei shite itadakemasu ka.Could you explain that once more, please?
Being allowed: ～させてもらう
The causative (“let someone do”) + means “I was allowed to” or “I had the chance to”, with thanks to the person who allowed it: (jūgosai no toki kara, chichi no kōbō de hatarakasete moratta), from the age of fifteen my father let me work in his workshop. The humble ～させていただく is very common in formal speech; see the causative and keigo pages.
- 今日は早く帰らせてもらいます。Kyō wa hayaku kaerasete moraimasu.I'll leave early today, if that's all right.
- 師匠にいろいろなことを教えていただきました。Shishō ni iroiro na koto o oshiete itadakimashita.My master taught me many things.